Presidential campaign song selection 101

In a world where perception is everything and hollow sound bites win over serious thoughtful discussion, the selection of a campaign theme song for a U.S. presidential run is very important. With that in mind, there are a few small rules to follow when making this vital selection:

  1. Choose a popular song that everyone can recite the lyrics to from memory. It doesn’t matter if they don’t understand what the lyrics mean. In fact, it’s probably better if they don’t understand what the lyrics mean.
  2. Choose a song whose chorus means something politically motivating. “Born in the U.S.A.”, “Born to run”, “Change the World” etc. “Money for Nothing” will never be a campaign song, unless the campaign is a parody. Yes, we all know the song’s chorus is nothing more than a metaphor for your last relationship, but take it literally.
  3. Choose a song by an artist who isn’t in jail, accused of murdering someone, or otherwise in disrepute. Stay away from Michael Jackson songs.
  4. Make sure the artist won’t be pissed off at your song selection and start campaigning for the other candidate (see Bruce Springsteen link above).
  5. This one would seem self-evident, but choose a song by an artist who is a citizen of the country you’re running to lead. Choosing a song by a Canadian (and a French Canadian like Celine Dion) might give the wrong impression.

Then again, maybe I’m wrong. Nobody seems to have pointed this out yet except in passing. And only a few blogs are pointing out the silliness of Hillary Clinton using an old Air Canada theme song for her campaign.

UPDATE: The Gazette gave it front-page treatment, so I guess some people are noticing here at least.

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