Google and Facebook agree to give everyone $100 to just do their own local news reporting

Under fire for sucking up all the advertising money from the print media industry, Google and Facebook have agreed to a groundbreaking new program in which they simply give every Canadian citizen $100 each a year to report on their local communities.

The “Everyone’s a Journalist” program, which begins today, requires people receiving the money to report on at least one local news story per year, including going to town council meetings, interviewing old ladies complaining about something, promoting a bake sale for the children’s hockey team, or filing access to information requests and having secret meetings with dozens of sources to expose corruption at the police department.

“We believe this will be a revolutionary move toward hyperlocal journalism, one that has no real down side,” said Esteban Frobisher, who has been put in charge of the project. “We’re empowering millions of journalists here, and more is always better.”

The program is already having an effect. Frobisher says dozens of stories have already been submitted about how gas prices are rigged and how Jody Wilson-Raybould is a traitor to poor Justin Trudeau and do you want Andrew Scheer in charge of the country, come on.

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