The Globe and Mail has an article about how big Vanna White’s head is. Literally. Who knows how much CBC paid the Globe to write an article about Wheel of Fortune just before it starts airing on the network, but this is certainly an interesting angle to take on it. Will the next piece be an in-depth look at Alex Trebek’s moustache?

Meanwhile, the New York Times summarizes last night’s Colbert Report, regurgitating the jokes made by New York governor David Paterson, who was the headline guest.

See also:

• August 12, 2008 — National humility in contrast
• June 17, 2008 — That’s one small DUNT for a woman…
• August 26, 2008 — Globe thinks colour will solve newspaper crisis

The CRTC’s notice suggests it is ready to approve the channel, since it doesn’t compete with Canadian networks and is unlikely to have any program licensing issues.

No HD for you

Also from the CRTC this week is a denial for a new channel called Canada HD Network, which I mocked back in July. Back then I suggested the CRTC would likely deny the request unless it got much more specific about programming. Otherwise it would compete with conventional general-interest broadcasters.

Sure enough, there were objections from CTV, Canwest, Rogers, Astral Media, The Score and the Canadian Association of Broadcasters, and Canada HD Network was shown the door. Similar decisions were made against its Diversion channel in high-definition and standard-definition (which were for some reason filed separately)

New HD channels coming

The CRTC has approved high-definition versions of the following CTV-owned specialty channels:

• CTV Newsnet
• Business News Network
• MTV Canada
• Comedy Network
• travel+escape
• Outdoor Life Network

This is only the first step in the process. The HD channels must now be created and CTV must negotiate with carriers to have the HD versions added to their lineups.

Good news, bad news for CMT

CMT Canada (Country Music Television) had a few requests for amendments to its license:

1. It wanted to make changes to the categories of programs it can air, by adding animated programming and improv/stand-up comedy, by increasing (slightly) its cap on drama/comedy programming and by removing restrictions on the number of feature films it can air (though those films must still feature country music artists). All programming would still have to fit in with the country music theme and fit existing limits on non-music-video programming. Since no opposition was voiced and the proposed changes are not huge, the requests were approved.
2. CMT wanted to change the criteria by which videos are deemed “Canadian” to judge only the music and not the video itself. For music video television stations to consider a music video as Cancon-compliant, not only must the music be produced/written/performed by a Canadian (similar to the criteria radio stations use), but the video itself must have been produced by Canadians. This means that a Shania Twain music video wouldn’t be Cancon if it was entirely produced in the States, even though the song itself counts as Cancon for radio stations. This request was denied because it would change policy across the board.
3. CMT wanted to change its required financial contribution minimums. Currently it must spend 22% of gross revenues, half on creating new Canadian country music videos and half on creating new (original) programming. It wanted to shift the balance toward programming and away from videos. Partly this is because CMT is less of a music video station (its requirement dropped from 90% to 50%), and partly this is because it would have to spend less of that remaining 78% on original/Canadian programming to meet CRTC requirements if it could shift that budget over. This request was also denied, as the CRTC pointed out that CMT’s revenues have gone up and the network is hardly in a financial crisis.

See also:

• July 8, 2008 — CRTC roundup: CTV wants everything in HD
• August 17, 2008 — CRTC roundup: Cancon porn, TSN2 and the Rural Channel
• December 10, 2007 — CRTC specialty channel digest: Everyone wants a break from CanCon

Videotron Illico subscribers get their first taste of Teletoon Retro on Channel 97 (French) and on Channel 159 (English). (Data for the channels apparently haven’t been input yet into the on-screen guide, but the channels are live.)

Teletoon Retro was initially approved by the CRTC back in 2000, when all the networks were scrambling to come up with new specialty channels. It was then re-approved in 2005, when Teletoon actually wanted to launch it. The English version launched last year, and the French version launched today, hence the inclusion of both on Videotron’s Illico service.

In case it’s non-obvious, Teletoon Retro is a classic cartoon network, with repeats of Spider-Man, Scooby Doo and The Jetsons, Rocky & Bullwinkle and others.

Sadly (and curiously), the channels are not being offered as free previews to subscribers. Instead, Videotron has added the channels to the popular Anglo and Franco packages, and both to the digital Telemax package at no extra charge. (This means your humble correspondent gets access to the anglo version but not the franco one.)

See also:

• July 28, 2008 — CRTC roundup: Videotron doesn’t want to closed-caption porn
• September 5, 2008 — CRTC Roundup: Shaw seeks CNN International license
• August 20, 2008 — For sale: TATV channel

I mention this only because on that same day, reruns of The West Wing disappeared from CLT’s schedule, replaced by Judging Amy. I imagine this came as a surprise since The West Wing is still being advertised on CLT’s website, which also still carries CTV branding.

Does Corus not like the idea of a Democratic president and his staff?

Sadly, because CLT was pretty useless for anything else, this will probably mean the end to our relationship. Time for that channel lineup shuffle I’ve been putting off…

See also:

• August 25, 2008 — DiMonte to do noon-hour Q92 show from Calgary
• May 15, 2008 — The Mario Dumont Show
• February 29, 2008 — Santobama

I admit, I get a perverse pleasure out of people who are the creators of their own misfortune. Tragedies in the classical sense. Not necessarily causing death, but at least causing inconvenience. Hurricane Gustav created two examples of this, and the victims are our favourite punching bags: politicians and the media.

The first comes out of the video above. A few weeks ago, Stuart Shepard of Focus on the Family posted a video online in which he half-jokingly suggests that Christian Conservatives pray for rain during Barack Obama’s acceptance speech at an open-air stadium. They say they never meant for it to be taken seriously, but it was, and the video was pulled (the one above is a copy).

Of course, there was no rain the night of Obama’s acceptance speech, and the Democratic convention went off without a hitch. But the day after, as John McCain was announcing his vice-presidential pick, we start hearing about this hurricane headed for the Gulf Coast. Toward New Orleans. Three years almost to the day that Katrina struck.

Oh the irony. It almost makes me believe in a god, as it did Michael Moore.

The second example comes from our good friends at CNN. When Barack Obama announced his VP pick, CNN filled the airwaves with news and analysis. Responding to a viewer comment via Facebook (oh how the media has changed, folks), anchor Rick Sanchez says this on air:

By the way, I have to share this with you. It is from Sam. He says, Rick — this is on Facebook — I’m counting on you to do the same kind of coverage when McCain announces his vice president as you’re doing tonight when Barack Obama has announced his vice president. Sam, we’ve already made that decision. I can guarantee you we will.

No caveats, no ifs or buts, just a bold guarantee. Of course, neither CNN nor the other news networks are coming close to meeting that guarantee for the convention. Half the news about Sarah Palin was surrounded (literally) by hurricane updates, and the convention coverage is being threatened by it. Even the convention itself is changing plans at the last minute to deal with people (like President George W. Bush, Vice-President Dick Cheney and Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal) who can’t speak.

I actually feel a bit bad for the Republicans. It’s not their fault this hurricane hit with such horrible timing, nor is it their fault that Bristol Palin got pregnant. If they lose in November, it should be because of the issues, not because the campaign was derailed by … well, acts of God.

See also:

• September 6, 2008 — This speech is a rerun
• March 25, 2008 — There are no generic people
• September 5, 2008 — CRTC Roundup: Shaw seeks CNN International license

(Full disclosure: I work for The Gazette, which is owned, along with Global, by Canwest.)

See also:

• August 7, 2008 — Global Quebec’s fake local news
• June 4, 2008 — Global’s got it
• May 12, 2008 — It’s Canada. Who cares?

UPDATE: Dear CNN: When you say “convention speeches, unfiltered, uninterrupted”, am I silly in assuming you mean speeches at the convention will be uninterrupted by commercials and unfiltered by your analysis team of political hacks? If not, you’re lying. And that’s especially bad when you put that “unfiltered uninterrupted” graphic on the screen at the very moment you’re interrupting a speaker.

See also:

• September 6, 2008 — This speech is a rerun
• September 2, 2008 — Hurricanes suck
• August 27, 2008 — Barack Obama abandons newborn babies in dirty rooms alone to die

Vlog was cancelled due to disappointing ratings, though it got screwed by the network and was never really given a chance over its handful of episodes. Not only was it slotted against Tout le monde en parle, but it followed Occupation double, which would almost always run long and push the show back. That wouldn’t have been a problem if the audiences for the two shows were the same, but they weren’t, and people tuning in at 9:30 to watch a show about Internet videos instead saw some stupid reality show about sexy people living together, with no clue when their show would come on.

When it was cancelled, there was talk about an online-only version coming earlier this year to Quebecor’s new Canoe.tv website. But for reasons that Arpin promises to explain on his blog by next week when the fall schedule comes out, the network decided to try again to put it back on the air.

Arpin says they’re working on a new format (perhaps going into more depth about featured videos, to deal with some criticism that they’re exploiting them almost to the level of copyright infringement). Details will come about the new format, but the main difference is that Arpin is going solo. Former cohost Geneviève Borne already has a new gig at Belle et Bum on Télé-Québec.

Vlog Season 2 premieres Thursday, Sept. 28 at 9:30 p.m. on TVA.

I hate it already.

UPDATE: Arpin gives some details in a video on his blog. He mentions something about the format being more like a YouTube video blog, with him looking into a camera.

See also:

• November 13, 2007 — Vlog cancelled
• November 11, 2007 — Vlog in danger of cancellation
• October 15, 2007 — Vlog: Getting better

Needless to say, it’s the Internet that led to the network’s downfall. Putting ad on Craigslist is much cheaper than the $20 it’ll cost to put your old dresser or used car on TV where nobody will see it.

The immediate question is what’s going to happen to that spot on the dial. The station is at channel 12 on Videotron basic cable (despite its low number, the channel is actually among the worst to be assigned to because of interference from the very powerful CFCF transmitter) and channel 27 on Videotron’s Illico.

The network is still running its existing advertisements for clients who have already paid, though it isn’t taking any more listings (even if it’s putting its phone number out over the air and asking people to buy ads).

It’s unclear at this point whether the channel will be released back to cable companies to do reassign as they please or whether Astral will try to do something else with it.

This leaves all-infomercial network Shopping TVA as the last of its kind on the cable dial. Any bets on how long it’ll survive?

See also:

• September 5, 2008 — CRTC Roundup: Shaw seeks CNN International license
• September 4, 2008 — Télétoon Rétro launches
• August 17, 2008 — CRTC roundup: Cancon porn, TSN2 and the Rural Channel

This isn’t because of technical problems, or because a video editor got lazy, or even NBC’s controversial time-shifting of “live” broadcasts. It’s because of draconian rules about rebroadcasting of video from Olympic events.

Broadcasters pay a truckload of money in order to get rights to live Olympic events. That’s not so unusual. All the major sports leagues work the same way. The difference is that after the event is complete, other networks can rebroadcast clips from them in their news reports. It’s a gentleman’s agreement, but more importantly it’s the law. Fair use rules for copyright (”fair dealing” in Canada) allow broadcasters to show short clips from events as part of news reports about them.

But for the Olympics, that’s not the case. Even CBC, which has the rights to the Olympics, has to strip Olympic video from its National podcast because the latter is distributed out of the country.

The networks, including the U.S. ones like ABC and CBS, have tucked their tails between their legs and accepted these draconian rules. Instead, they awkwardly fudge their reports with still photos, file footage of practices or earlier events, or post-event press conferences.

It’s ridiculous. And someone needs to make it stop.

See also:

• August 25, 2008 — Top 10 worst moments of the Beijing Olympics
• August 19, 2008 — This is what I love about the Olympics
• August 19, 2008 — Beijing Games online coverage analysis

Well, that’s exactly what’s happening. Digital Home reports Discovery Canada has added the show to its lineup.

It will be a Canadian version instead of the show instead of an import, so I can’t comment on the type of questions being asked, but if it’s regular trivia like the U.S. and U.K. shows, I don’t think it will fit in with Discovery’s mandate.

You can argue that learning about trivia is also learning, but that would make every trivia game show fair game for this channel. Jeopardy, 1 vs. 100, Beat the Geeks, Hollywood Squares and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire would all be OK.

Is that what we want the Discovery Channel to look like?

See also:

• July 8, 2008 — CRTC roundup: CTV wants everything in HD
• January 7, 2008 — Discovery Channel wants game shows
• September 5, 2008 — CRTC Roundup: Shaw seeks CNN International license

Le Soleil's Richard Therrien

Allow me to add my voice to others in welcoming Le Soleil’s Richard Therrien to the blogosphere. He’ll be writing for Cyberpresse about television, tapping into his freakishly vast knowledge of everything that has ever aired, ever. (He explains his mission statement in his debut post)

Le Soleil, of course, is in Quebec City, so that changes… well, nothing. Unless he’s talking about the local news. Which he should, because local news is awesome for mistakes and stupidity, which he and I both seem to enjoy pointing out.

See also:

• May 15, 2008 — TVA mad at La Presse for suggesting they have managers
• June 22, 2007 — Le Soleil: We don’t outsource (wink, wink)

Insert “beaver” joke here

The biggest news (or at least the most titillating) is the approval of a new Canadian-based pornography channel. Called Northern Peaks (cute), it would feature 50% Canadian content (i.e. Canadian-produced porn) from various categories, including pornographic sitcoms and game shows (that actually sounds like fun, but it’s really just the company covering all bases, so to speak).

The 50% mark is actually quite unusual, and is well above what would normally be required for such a network. But apparently it was the applicant’s request, according to the National Post:

Mr. Donnelly said he was required to offer as little as 15% Canadian content to appease regulators.

But because he wants “to legitimately be Canada’s adult channel,” he started at half Canadian. He said there is a huge unfulfilled market in Canada for local porn. Beginning last year, he began getting calls from cable companies looking to license his Canadian productions.

“I’ve always found there’s a real turn-on to watching and knowing it’s people you could run into in the grocery store,” he said.

But with more than 200 titles (and presumably they can be replayed over and over again, since most viewers wouldn’t mind repeats of classic programming), he thinks he can do it.

Quoth the CRTC: “The Commission did not receive any interventions in connection with this application.” Really? Not even from the pizza guy? Or that nosy peeping-tom neighbour you’re just waiting to have sex in front of so they can masturbate to it?

Needless to say the media had a field day with this one, the National Post turning it into a front-page story (complete with photo) and an opinion piece that’s pretty tongue-in-cheeks (sorry) asking readers to comment and either denounce the channel or come up with some programming ideas for it. (A funny side-effect of the latter is offhand mentions of Sheila Copps and Avi Lewis, which means searches for these two under “related stories” brings up a comment about a porn channel they have nothing to do with.)

One comment posted to the Post:

When do the adults at the Post return from summer holiday?

Of course, it wasn’t just the Post. The Globe and Mail also had a lengthy article on it (about 12 inches), and the news was picked up by Canadian Press and Reuters and Agence France-Presse and reached news outlets all around the world (well, those two anyway). It also got a mention on an anti-abortion (but still pro-women) conservative website.

The channel is being run by Real Productions (apparently not this Real Productions nor that Real Productions, which appear lower in the Google raking and I’m guessing confused or offended at least a few potential customers), which is run by a man named Shaun Donnelly (but not this Shaun Donnelly, Assistant U.S. Trade Representative for Europe and the Middle East).

Due to the nature of the channel, it can’t be included in any channel packages and must be specifically requested by the subscriber. The network also promises to spend at least 25% of revenues on developing new programming.

Also of note is the 100% closed-captioning requirement, which may foreshadow a fight with Videotron concerning their demand that they not have to closed-caption on-demand video porn.

UPDATE (Aug. 18): The Globe has more on the channel, including an idea of what a broadcast day would look like. And then even more on the channel here. (They won’t let this story go, will they?)

UPDATE (Aug. 24): Farked. With suggestions on Canadian porn titles. Some of these people should write headlines for a living.

TSN “alternate feed” becomes TSN2

The other news to hit the papers this week was basically rewrites from the Globe and Canwest of a TSN press release saying that it would launch TSN2 (in standard and high definition) on August 29. The second TSN network has two purposes: To have an alternative channel for conflicting live sporting events, and to have a place to replay events for west coast audiences and anyone else who missed it the first time.

The digital network replaces the “TSN alternate feed,” which was used on a limited basis to get around regional blackouts.

The press release says that:

TSN2 will be operating pursuant to an authorization in the TSN broadcast licence from the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission.

It’s kind of ambiguous: Does this mean they’re waiting for authorization here, or that they’ve gotten it? I only mention it because minutes of searching on my part has shown no such authorization from the CRTC (see below).

The story of the TSN alternate feed and TSN2 goes way back. TSN2 was first approved in 2000 as a “best of TSN” channel that specifically prohibited the broadcast of live sporting events. This was back when digital TV specialty channels were new and hip and everyone was applying for one. By 2003, the CRTC gave an extension to those who hadn’t launched yet (including TSN2 and dozens of other channels that never made the light of day like Global’s Quebec News Network). Since no such network launched, one can assume the authorization expired.

Meanwhile, TSN, beset by annoying regional blackouts of live programming, got the CRTC to give them permission to split their feed regionally (for up to 10% of its broadcast schedule), so that everyone would still get something and not a blank screen. When cable companies started carrying two feeds of TSN to give customers choice, Rogers SportsNet complained and got the CRTC to tell TSN to stop. Very quickly, TSN came back and asked to setup a special digital channel which would allow regional programming.

Despite protests from Rogers SportsNet, Canwest and the CBC, the channel (or technically, the license amendment) was approved, “in a single region on a digital-only basis.”

Considering all but the conclusion of the CRTC decision makes it seem as if the 10% limitation would still apply, expect these competitors to get mad that TSN is setting up a new channel with this “alternate feed.”

The decision is confusing, since it says earlier that:

While the Commission has considered the possibility that TSN Inc. could use the additional flexibility to outbid other licensees for the rights to high profile sports events, it notes that the amount of unique programming on TSN’s second feed would be limited to 10% of its quarterly schedule, thereby minimizing any negative impact on the competition for sports programming rights.

It then proceeds to remove that limitation without explanation from TSN’s license.

Whether or not the limitation still exists, the other one, that the feeds be regional, remains. This means that TSN2 (assuming it’s running under this license) would have to have “regional” programming (much like Rogers SportsNet must have “regional” programming), which would presumably be different across the regions. Since their first event is the U.S. Open, I don’t see how that can be considered “regional programming.”

I’ve asked TSN for clarification on their license for TSN2 and will update if I get a response.

UPDATE: TSN’s response in its entirety apparently assumes that I’m an idiot who can’t read, and simply repeats a part of the press release:

TSN2 will be operating pursuant to an authorization in the TSN broadcast licence from the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission.

No word yet on whether Videotron plans on carrying the service. Unlike TSN’s main feed, digital TV providers are not required to carry TSN2 and so must choose to add it to their lineups.

All-baseball channel coming soon

The CRTC approved an application from Rogers Communications (owner of Rogers SportsNet) for Baseball TV, which would focus on baseball-related programming. The approval is for both standard-definition and high-definition versions of the network.

Part of the question over this channel was whether it would compete with protected cable networks TSN and SportsNet (the latter being somewhat ironic). But the commission appears to be following precedent here set by the NHL Network and Raptors TV, arguing that more specialized channels won’t compete with the general networks.

Nevertheless, this meant a condition of license that live programming must be limited to 10% of the broadcast schedule. That doesn’t sound like much, but it still means six baseball games a week, which is about what SportsNet offers now.

Much as I understand the CRTC’s policy on protection of classic, format-protected specialty TV networks, the fact that TSN and SportsNet have both requested and received separate channel licenses I think shows that for sports networks it’s no longer necessary. The entire point behind having separate networks is to allow for more live programming. Placing a 10% restriction doesn’t serve the viewer.

Also of note here is that Rogers tried to weasel its way out of the 100% closed-captioning requirement, citing “technical issues” (does Rogers not have an engineer on staff?). The CRTC saw through this transparent attempt to save money and is forcing them to comply with the requirement.

Telelatino expanding

Telelatino got mixed results at the CRTC from its proposals for four new specialty channels, all of which would provide 100% English programming destined for Canadians from particular ethnic groups:

• APPROVED: Pan Desi Life TV, for Canadians of South Asian origin. Also allowed a limited amount of local/regional advertising (presumably directed at that same ethnic group). But the CRTC poo-pooed the company’s request to get an excuse card out of 100% closed-captioning on the grounds that they just didn’t want to pay for it.
• DENIED: Eurolatino, Italian Television and Spanish Television. The CRTC determined their proposed programming of all three proposed networks was too broad for approval. Because the programming would be in English, it would compete with existing protected cable networks.

In brief

• Approval of The Rural Channel, an English channel that would focus on rural life and agriculture. (The Post highlighted the porn channel but not this? Come on!)
• Approval of eScapes, an English channel that would show nothing but nature scenes and landscapes and stuff. Most interesting is that they plan to have no audio besides nature sounds. It’s like Fireplace TV, which I’m sure someone’s going to setup at some point. (The CRTC said that even though moot, they should still have a 100% closed-captioning requirement, just in case someone says something)
• Approval of Cuisine, a French channel that deals with food-related programming. Owned by Serdy Inc. (the people behind Canal Evasion), the channel would be able to show most kinds of programming, provided it was food-related. This includes sitcoms, so I guess that means Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place is OK but Two Guys and a Girl isn’t.
• Approval of Radical Télé, a French channel that would focus on “extreme” sports, including “snowboarding, surfing, skateboarding, wakeboarding and FMX (freestyle motocross) and to the lifestyle associated with these extreme sports (fashion, social events and places where these sports are practised).”
• Approval of HD versions of the Discovery Channel (Discovery HD had previously been approved under a provisional license and had more freedom to have separate programming from its standard-definition counterpart) and RIS Info Sports, RDS’s sports-headlines sister station. Like other stations that have HD versions, 95% of content must be the same on both channels, and the remaining 5% must be entirely HD on the HD stations.
• CBC is applying to have its bold network (formerly CBC Country Canada) add a matching HD service.
• LCN is applying to increase its allowed analysis programming from 12% to 19% per week. I guess this means more Franchement Martineau and Claude Poirier.
• As if to exemplify why you should always ask for more categories of programming than you need, AdrenalineHD’s Rush HD outdoor sports channel is applying to add feature films to its allowed programming up to 15% per week. Ditto Treasure HD, the museum/flea market channel, and Oasis HD, the nature channel.
• Télé-Québec has applied to add a digital transmitter for its CIVQ Quebec City station, which would provide local digital programming to the three people in Quebec City using a digital over-the-air receiver and don’t want that crappy CIVM Montreal station.
• RNC Media, which runs affiliate stations of TVA, TQS and CBC in Gatineau, Rouyn-Noranda and Val d’Or, wants an exemption from having to provide programming logs since the stations it runs are essentially retransmitters with the bare minimum of local news. It instead wants to provide quarterly reports of its activities.
• Digital Home Canada (which, if you’ve read this far into this post, should really be in your feed reader) reports that Rogers Cable in Ontario has dropped TSN from its basic analog cable package for new customers, forcing them to get digital cable in order to access it. This is part of Rogers’s move to phase out analog cable. If I were a conspiracy theorist (like some people), I might point out that TSN’s competitor, Rogers SportsNet, is unaffected and will remain on analog cable. But I’m not, of course.
• And in what little radio news is interesting for us here, Radio Ville-Marie (CIRA 91.3) wants to add a retransmitter in Rimouski for its Montreal programming on 104.1 FM.

See also:

• September 5, 2008 — CRTC Roundup: Shaw seeks CNN International license
• July 8, 2008 — CRTC roundup: CTV wants everything in HD
• October 25, 2007 — Rogers Sportsnet 2: Judgment play

Last July 15, we reported on several occasions that Bill McMurchie, mayor of the city of Pointe-Claire, had spent $23,600 on meals at taxpayers’ expense.

We wish to clarify that the mayor actually spent less than $1,500 on meals during 2007 as shown in a statement prepared by Lyne Goulet, Pointe-Claire city treasurer and posted on the city’s web site.

CTV apologizes to Mayor McMurchie and the elected council of Pointe-Claire for any embarrassment or prejudice that may have been caused.

I can’t find the original story, since CTV Montreal doesn’t archive its news, so I have to go on what’s being written here.

But “clarify”? You inflated a figure more than ten-fold, accusing a man of corruption and left the record unfixed for almost a month, and you’re clarifying?

Unless I’ve missed something, this is a correction. And a major one.

See also:

• August 20, 2008 — More “clarifications”
• August 14, 2008 — CTV Montreal gets kudos for diversity
• August 12, 2008 — NBC is lying to you

Mutsumi Takahashi is really happy about CTV Montreal's employment equity award

CTV’s Herb Luft drew the short straw today and got to report on his workplace being honoured by the federal government for employment equity. According to his report (video), the station scored straight As in all four categories: women, aboriginals, visible minorities and people with disabilities.

Though there are definitely women and visible minorities (Mutsumi Takahashi fills two of those slots simultaneously, as do Maya Johnson (below), Danielle Hamamdjian and others who aren’t listed on the station’s almost-all-white host bios page), I haven’t seen any aboriginal people in visible positions, nor any people with disabilities (unless you count Stéphane Giroux’s accent).

CTV Montreal reporter Maya Johnson: Brown and loving it

All that said, kudos to CTV Montreal.

See also:

• August 14, 2008 — CTV Montreal’s $23,600 “clarification”
• July 25, 2008 — Britt leaves CTV Montreal
• June 24, 2008 — Natasha has a new job

Look out, ladies. Patrick Lagacé is prettying himself up to be on the teevee.

See also:

• August 28, 2008 — Patrick Lagacé wants to be your friend
• August 18, 2008 — I have hair too!
• August 11, 2008 — Montreal North riot OMG BBQ

A's new logo

CTV announced yesterday that its “A channel” network, which is a collection of broadcast stations mainly in Ontario, would be renamed simply “A” and would feature a new look and new logo (right), as well as a new website: atv.ca.

The website address demonstrates the main problem with this new name: It’s just a stupid letter. Like CBC’s Bold and Documentary networks (sorry, “bold” and “documentary”) and Canwest’s “E!” entertainment network, their names are confusing, and their website addresses non-intuitive.

But the biggest problem is that “A” is ungoogleable. You simply can’t own a letter in Google. So if people want to find “A” online, they have to guess what its real name is. ATV? A Channel? A Network? Two of those won’t work either in Google.

So people will just keep calling it A Channel to avoid confusion. Which makes the name change kind of pointless.

See also:

• July 19, 2008 — TWIM: Can Flashpoint become Due South 2?
• July 17, 2008 — Razer to become MTV2
• July 13, 2008 — Olympics blogs ahoy!

The Globe and Mail says NBC’s coverage “outshone the work of the CBC, mainly because co-hosts Bob Costas and Matt Lauer brought more information and enthusiasm to the show than did the stolid, rather dull presentation of the CBC’s Peter Mansbridge, who handled most of the commentary during the first 80 minutes.”

The New York Times: “how extraordinarily pleasant it was to be able to view that spectacle in Beijing without the annoyance of constant exclamation and endless recitations of trivia — just great swaths of wonderful silence from our narrators MacLean and Mansbridge between 8am and 9am or so, just letting the show at the stadium tell its own story with the least obtrusive economy of helpful footnotes, no urgency whatsoever to riddle the air with inane nattering and relentless fill.”

I guess it’s all a matter of interpretation.

See also:

• August 25, 2008 — Top 10 worst moments of the Beijing Olympics
• July 13, 2008 — Olympics blogs ahoy!
• September 6, 2008 — Journalists watch TV

Problem is, the race happened five hours ago. I know, because I watched it live on CBC. And the results have been on the Beijing Olympics website since then.

This isn’t the first time I noticed this problem, either.

So is someone at NBC incompetent, running a tape delay without covering up the “LIVE” thing, or is someone being intentionally deceptive?

UPDATE: It seems it’s the latter, and I’m not the only one to notice. The official reason:

…the constant “Live” tag is accompanied by twice-per-hour time stamps that inform West Coast viewers that the event was only live on the East Coast (ex. “10:05 ET”).

“The audience makeup of the Olympics is very much like that of ‘American Idol’ and ‘Dancing with the Stars’ which have ‘live’ season finales presented in much the same way,” an NBC Sports spokesperson says. “You assume there’s a large amount of intelligence in the viewing audience, so when they see those twice-an-hour time stamps they’ll understand what is being presented.”

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Let’s count how wrong this is:

1. Lying isn’t OK if you air a disclaimer twice an hour.
2. Lying isn’t OK if other broadcasters also lie.
3. I’m on the East Coast, and what I saw wasn’t live.
4. The difference in time zones between East and West Coast is three hours, not five.
5. This isn’t American Idol. The time difference isn’t as obvious, and last I checked the Beijing Olympics wasn’t created by a U.S. or British-based entertainment company.
6. None of these things are excuses for presenting a tape delay as live.

It’s either live or it isn’t. It wasn’t. I don’t care if it makes you look bad. It’s wrong to lie. And more importantly, it’s ridiculously transparent.

See also:

• August 25, 2008 — Top 10 worst moments of the Beijing Olympics
• August 12, 2008 — National humility in contrast
• August 7, 2008 — CBC needs to check its watch

Then, in June, all that changed when CTV announced it had acquired the rights to the theme from its original composer, who was still involved in contractual disputes with CBC over the terms of its license.

The CBC, left with its pants around its ankles, dusted off Plan B: Run a contest to find its replacement.

A contest to replace the most epic song in Canadian history. No problem.

The CBC’s Anthem Challenge, which has been promoted endlessly in order to drive up interest, has been surprisingly successful at doing so. Thousands of submissions each take a legitimate shot at being the theme’s successor, mostly by trying to copy it with slightly different notes.

Some come close to what you’d expect the winner to sound like, but are still missing that punch that truly gets you ready for a hockey game. They might sound more appropriate for a Megaman level than a hockey show.

Others miss the beat entirely, spanning the range of genres from cheesy ’80s sitcom themes, elevator music, electronic music, pop songs, even cheesier pop songs with lame lyrics, Randy Bachman, and other types of music entirely inappropriate for a hockey show theme.

Some include annoying personal introductions, others repeat the same chords over and over, or include sounds of people cheering.

Considering all these people got paid exactly $0 for the submissions, they’re not bad.

But these were the most popular ones. Imagine the ones that sucked.

The big question I have here is: Is this the kind of thing that should be trusted to Joe Schmo next door? Claman was a professional, not some person they picked off the street. Why should we think that amateurs would do a better job this time, clinging to the faint hope that maybe they might be the one lucky one out of thousands to win the $100,000 grand prize and get all the fame and glory that comes from not having the right to play your own song because you’ve signed away the copyright?

It’s perhaps partly to prove this point that a member of Something Awful posted “Hockey Scores,” a collection of random annoying sounds designed to sound as bad as possible, and encouraged others to vote for it. Because Something Awful is so powerful, the song rocketed to the top, where it sits as the most popular, most viewed and most commented entry.

That has garnered the attention of mainstream media, its blogs and even the CBC itself, which points out that the number of votes is not the only factor it must use according to the rules in determining the semifinalists that will be presented to the nation in October (though it will likely be the determining factor in choosing finalists from those semifinalists, and then the winner from the finalists).

But little of that coverage is mentioning the larger issue: When rich media organizations “crowdsource”  something that’s going to make them a lot of money, expecting people to work for free, they’re just begging to get a bunch of crap.

Something Awful just helped the process along a bit.

The contest continues to accept entries until Aug. 31. Semifinalists will be aired and voted on by the public in the beginning of October.

UPDATE (Aug. 9): The Globe has a piece on the contest, which of course includes not a single link to all the entries it talks about, nor the contest itself.

See also:

• June 9, 2008 — The theme that wouldn’t die
• June 5, 2008 — End of an anthem
• July 14, 2008 — The CBC giveth, the CBC taketh away