It’s amazing how much of journalism these days consists of someone searching for something on Twitter and then being shocked at finding that thing that’s being searched for.
On Thursday, a few people had the bright idea to search for people who posted on Twitter that the United States turned 2,013 years old on July 4. Of course that’s ridiculous and a sign that the U.S. education system has failed miserably.
Or maybe they were all kidding. Don’t bother checking that, just publish and shame! It doesn’t matter how young they are, they must be ridiculed, post haste!
Here’s a post on something called Twitchy that lists “30 people who say America turned 2,013 years old today.” Wow, those people all sound super stupid.
But let’s go through them one by one, shall we?
1.
I can't believe America is 2013 years old. Happy birthday
— Sarah McKendrick (@sarahhmckk) July 4, 2013
16 minutes later:
I WAS KIDDING I DO NOT GENUINELY BELIEVE THAT AMERICA IS 2013 YEARS OLD
— Sarah McKendrick (@sarahhmckk) July 4, 2013
2.
Happy birthday America! The land of the brave and the free is now 2013 years old. #4thofjuly #omg
— felix lindberg (@felixperalbin) July 4, 2013
7 minutes later:
@mtnoon I guess since you don't know me I have to forgive you for not realising my tweet was what I think is called a "sarcasm".
— felix lindberg (@felixperalbin) July 4, 2013
3.
Happy Birthday Murica <3 2013 years old. SO OLD, lol.
— Fusselviech (@JustYassy) July 4, 2013
She’s actually German. Later in the day:
@BufanBomb23 Thanks for thinking I'm dumb as fuck. I'm not even celebrating this freaking day. I just made fun of these people. Oh god.
— Fusselviech (@JustYassy) July 4, 2013
4.
Wow its hard to believe America turns 2013 years old today #happybirthday
— Tristan Chasing Hawk (@goko87) July 4, 2013
49 minutes later:
The amount of people who thought I was serious with the birthday tweet showcases American education #yayfreedom
— Tristan Chasing Hawk (@goko87) July 4, 2013
5.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE 2013 YEARS OLD TODAY CONGRATS
— (@samderful) July 4, 2013
Two hours, 27 minutes later:
“@bcartwright86: @samderful America isn't 2013 years old u idiot” I ???? people that take my sarcasm srsly bc it makes u look dumb as shit <3
— (@samderful) July 4, 2013
6.
2013 years old happy birthday America!
— RathAndSome (@rathandsome) July 4, 2013
I’ll point you to the feed and let you judge for yourself.
7.
I can't believe america is already 2013 years old. Happy Birthday America!!
— Caleb Stevens (@TheBlondeGinger) July 4, 2013
Four hours later:
Random people think i was serious when I said that America was 2013 years old.
— Caleb Stevens (@TheBlondeGinger) July 4, 2013
8.
I can't believe the USA is 2013 years old today. Happy birthday!
— Ef Rodriguez (@pug) July 4, 2013
Four hours later:
@JessicaLRyan The comments are amazing. #trollsohard
— Ef Rodriguez (@pug) July 4, 2013
9.
Happy birthday America! 2013 years old. That must be a new record.
— Lee Wilson (@theleewilson) July 4, 2013
Two hours later:
Feeding the trolls! Please read tweets from these guys. Amazing. @SwTkthe1 @Agent_Zeero @SCOOPNJ78
— Lee Wilson (@theleewilson) July 4, 2013
10.
Happy birthday america!! 2013 years old today :')
— nexy (@iosnexy) July 4, 2013
Twitter profile lists Poland as location. 25 minutes later:
I got one! http://t.co/3BbKdsWCdO
— nexy (@iosnexy) July 4, 2013
11.
This tweet was deleted. The account is a kid in Saskatoon.
12.
Happy birthday America! Can't believe you're already 2013 years old.
— Crater Lood (@CarterLoud) July 4, 2013
The previous day:
Free Tibet? I'll take it!
— Crater Lood (@CarterLoud) July 3, 2013
13.
happy birthday america a proud 2013 years old!
— Chris Galgano (@ChrisJrando) July 4, 2013
10 hours later:
My goal in life is to get people to think I'm stupider than I really am. I think it's working.
— Chris Galgano (@ChrisJrando) July 5, 2013
14.
I can't believe the United States is already 2013 years old #happybirthday
— Dan (@dan_harting) July 4, 2013
One minute later:
On this day in 0000 Abraham Lincoln killed George Washington to become the supreme dictator of the United States #swag
— Dan (@dan_harting) July 4, 2013
15.
Today america turns 2013 years old. Happy birthday!
— Andy Gorman (@gormanate) July 4, 2013
Four hours later (retweeted):
the constant Twitter caps of "America's 2013th birthday"-type stuff is a weird kind of intellectual masturbation.
— Nick Breckon (@nickbreckon) July 4, 2013
16.
Happy birthday America. 2013 years old
— AintNoCominDown (@BlazeMyReckless) July 4, 2013
Honestly I’m not sure about this one.
17.
Can't believe America is 2013 years old today! Happy birthday my USA friends #july4th
— James Tortise (@jamestortise) July 4, 2013
Location: Birmingham, England. Four hours later:
“@linsybyster: @Bonacker69 Gettysburg=speech date=Nov 19 1863. Today is INDEPENDENCE DAY. USA is 237 years old.” You're thinking of Mexico.
— James Tortise (@jamestortise) July 4, 2013
18.
Happy birthday America ???? Apparently you are 2013 years old today ???? #happyfourth
— Neil (@Stoopkidd5) July 4, 2013
No context to tell here, but the “apparently” in the tweet suggests to me it’s not serious.
19.
Happy Birthday America! You are 2013 years old today! :)
— Faded Mage Patrick (@patrickissanta) July 4, 2013
Previous tweet (retweted):
America is how old today? (pic via @RandallLee49) pic.twitter.com/zDxOjMtf7W
— Yours A Idiot (@YoursAIdiot) July 4, 2013
20.
Happy birthday, America! Can't believe you're 2013 years old already.
— philiKON (@philikon) July 4, 2013
User appears to be German. I’ll let you check his profile and you can see if he’s a moron.
21.
Repeat of #3.
22.
To think that America is 2013 years old, wow, happy birthday America!
— Will Howland (@WHowland1) July 4, 2013
Next tweet, four and a half hours later:
@Agent_Zeero Who are you, and don't worry, it's a joke.
— Will Howland (@WHowland1) July 4, 2013
23.
Tweet was deleted. User is Canadian.
24.
Repeat of #5.
25.
Happy birthday America! 2013 years old and still looking snappy as fuck!
— otterpaw (@_eugeneho) July 4, 2013
User is Canadian.
26.
omfg i cant believe america turned 2013 years old today. this is just so cool :) happy birthday xoxo
— katie (@jonjafarout) July 4, 2013
Two minutes later:
i can’t believe every american was born today. happy birthday everyone
— katie (@jonjafarout) July 4, 2013
16 hours later:
I'd just like everyone to know that I have death threats in my mentions right now because I made a joke tweet. What a time to be alive.
— katie (@jonjafarout) July 4, 2013
27.
Happy Birthday America! You are 2013 years old!
— e. zant (@andronemai) July 4, 2013
14 hours later (after retweeting a bunch of similar tweets from others):
@kplusw2 Yes what about my retarded?
— e. zant (@andronemai) July 4, 2013
28.
I CANT BELIEVE AMERICA IS 2013 YEARS OLD HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA GOD BLESS
— ?FABI? (@vaginarry_) July 4, 2013
10 minutes before (retweeted):
DO YOU REMEMBER SUMMER 1776 WANNA GO BACK THERE EVERY NIGHT WE GOT FREEDOM AND FOUGHT FOR OUR LIVES pic.twitter.com/B2dla1BraH
— on vacation (@itsgabbymarie) July 4, 2013
29.
happy birthday america. you are now 2013 years old!!
— Michel Aubizzierre (@miaubiz) July 4, 2013
I’ll point to the Twitter feed and leave it to you.
30.
Happy Birthday, America. 2013 years old. Wow.
— Ethan Kelly (@EthanKelly09) July 4, 2013
21 hours later:
@AceCurry007 oh my fucking god I know. I was joking and then some stupid "Americanism" account RT'd me thinking I was serious.
— Ethan Kelly (@EthanKelly09) July 5, 2013
So, to recap, of the 30 people (actually 28 because two were repeated), all but a few made it very clear they were joking. Of the rest, many were either (a) not even Americans, or (b) obviously very intelligent.
I suppose you could argue that some or even most of them backtracked after the fact, pretending they were joking to hide their ignorance. You could argue that if you didn’t read their timelines, or if your commitment to taking what someone says at face value causes you to find reasons to not take other things they say at face value.
But who cares, right? Even if it’s not real it’s funny.
The problem is that there are real people behind these Twitter accounts, and many were subjected to verbal abuse as a result of these bad jokes. And it’s one thing if you’re a high-profile comedian facing some online hecklers. But it’s another if you’re a 14-year-old being told by dozens of strangers that you should kill yourself.
So how about, before you start mocking identifiable people online, you check to make sure they’re actually doing what you think they’re doing.
Because not doing a basic check before asserting something on the Internet, well, apparently that makes you a dumbass worth making fun of. And we wouldn’t want people to be getting the wrong impression of you.
1- you MUST be ‘Murican.
2- you put WAYYYY too much time into this.
3- the only one you don’t think is joking is the little black kid. You’re obvi racist..
Face it.. Americans are stoopid and the Canadians, Germans, Brits etc were the ones joking and being sarcastic.
This is THE INTERNET!!! Nobody is WASTING THEIR TIME (*cough* like you), performing all kinds of unnecessary research to figure out if ppl are really THAT stupid!! We KNOW they are “that” stupid! We know this because only stupid people would sit idle and let someone like Bush or Obama be POTUS. Stupid people cheer on their troops and defend them when others disapprove saying “How dare you not support! Freedoms not free! ‘Murica!!!” SMH
Americans need to stick to what they DO know and that’s ‘GOD.’ Gold, Oil, Drugs.
Keep freedom fightin, America.. The NWO needs you!
People are assholes Steve.
The internet just makes it easier for them to out themselves.
In fact that should be publicly stated to every child on every day of school starting in about grade 3 in those exact terms.
If you exist, you will be insulted online by horribly pathetic people.
Good reason why you can NEVER count on sarcasm to be interpreted over text, without context. I still find it hard to believe that these people would post it ‘sarcastically’.
Trolling America is fun. Even Gawker couldn’t get what I tweeted: http://gawker.com/happy-birthday-america-672351597
How long have we been texting? Long enough to know that emotion doesn’t translate into text for sure. If you want to defend these people, knock yourself out… but if they aren’t stupid for messing up a birth date, then they’re stupid for not making sure people knew it was a joke.
As for them being harassed, yeah, it happens. We’ve all been through it and we’re all still here.
Why should it be someone’s responsibility to ensure that people who they don’t know and don’t follow them on Twitter understand what they’re saying?
I think we were all confused because a) the joke isn’t funny, and b) “sarcasm” in this context makes no sense. I don’t think it matters what country they’re from, since if they have Twitter they certainly have Wikipedia. I hope these twits have learned that making “sarcastic” “jokes” on Twitter can definitely be screencapped and held against them later.
My problem isn’t people being “confused”, it’s people making assumptions about these people’s intelligence based on things they see without even bothering to check the context.
It matters if you’re making conclusions about the intelligence of Americans based on these tweets.
Just as anything taken out of context can be used against someone. I don’t know that teenagers making poorly explained jokes are deserving of such public ridicule, though.