You might think his choice to resign as prime minister, give up his seat in the House of Commons and leave politics means his reign of terror is over, but it’s all a smokescreen and a secret plan to declare martial law, cancel elections and enslave Canadians is still in the works, insists a leading Conservative political analyst on TikTok.

“I called it months ago, and it’s obviously going to happen,” said Andrew Gertson, who posts under the handle @ProHealthFoodSecrets. “People think getting his puppet Mark Carney to call an election means an election is going to happen, but they’re going to manufacture a crisis and implement the emergencies act that will suspend the vote and require everyone get another vaccine injection. Why isn’t anyone talking about this?”

The latest proof of this plan is polls showing the Liberal Party gaining support among the electorate. “The pollsters were all bought off so they would show a Liberal surge, and we know it’s fake because no one I follow has said they’re voting Liberal,” Gertson explained.

Here’s how it will work: On April 28, just before the vote, and after orchestrating some urgent crisis with the Trump administration, Trudeau and Carney will walk to Rideau Hall and order the governor general to cancel the election. She will do that and reinstall Trudeau as prime minister, citing the need for stable leadership. Once that happens, preinstalled strike forces will take over control of provincial governments, critical infrastructure and media outlets across the country. Of course I’m joking about that last part because Trudeau already controls the media.

Once control has been assumed, there will be another fake pandemic, either a flare-up of COVID or some new manufactured virus, and more vaccines will be made mandatory, vaccines conveniently endorsed by Brookfield and the WEF globalists.

There is some debate whether Trudeau’s martial law will only last a year, which Gertson heard is how long he can legally assume full government control without an election, or if it will be indefinite.

It doesn’t matter, though. The United States will step in and restore freedom to Canada, by force if necessary. And once we’re the 51st state we’ll get to watch Hulu.

A man who has become the Bloc Québécois’s only candidate outside of Quebec says he will remain in the race and sees a realistic chance of turning part of the Saskatchewan capital a light blue on election night.

Brandon Souris, 28, says he filed the required legal paperwork to become a candidate, and as the only person seeking the Bloc nomination in the Regina-Qu’Appelle riding he was automatically acclaimed.

“I believe in the Bloc’s values,” Souris said in an interview conducted entirely in French. “I want massive transfers of money and power to Quebec, to protect Quebec culture and prevent it from being overrun by dirty pipelines. And of course I’m for Quebec sovereignty.”

Asked about his candidacy, the Bloc’s official agent said he hadn’t realized Regina-Qu’Appelle wasn’t in Quebec and signed the nomination form. Revoking the candidacy would require too much paperwork, he said, so the party has decided to let it go and see what happens.

Responding to recent demand from employees across the country to leave their jobs to enter politics, CBC/Radio-Canada has introduced a new sabbatical program that will allow them to take leaves of absence from their jobs to run for the Liberal Party of Canada or their provincial equivalents.

“This isn’t an endorsement of any political party, it’s simplifying a process that’s already happening so we can more efficiently process all the leave requests that come in just before an election campaign,” said CBC HR specialist Apryl Poisson. “Employees would of course be expected to completely disassociate from the CBC after publicly declaring themselves to be candidates, and if they lose their elections will be welcomed back as insider political analysts.”

Asked if the program could also be used for employees seeking to run for the Conservative Party, Poisson looked confused and stood frozen for about 10 minutes before saying that hypothetical situation had never come up.

AM talk radio broadcasters have had a “run for the Conservative Party” sabbatical program for several years now, citing people like Jamil Jivani and Greg Brady as success stories.

“I long for you. I radiate for you. You ping me.”

Those are some of the loin-melting sentences spoken in a new Netflix drama that follows the building textual tension between Cogeco and a wireless service it says it is oh so tantalizingly close to deciding to launch.

“Much like the Rogers story was the Canadian version of Succession, we think this new series ‘It’s Gonna Be Epico’ will be the next Bridgerton,” said Netflix head of Canadian programming Sue Kerr.

The new docudrama series, in which everyone is dressed up in 18th-century formal attire and speaks with a British accent for some reason, promises endless scenes in which Cogeco and a wireless service end up alone together and inch closer together, their hearts racing as they are swept away in their desires for each other, only to be interrupted at the moment they were totally about the seal the deal.

The first season will feature an intriguing story about the leader Philippe negotiating with the Great Powers when suddenly he’s replaced by the young Frédéric. Was there a coup? A love triangle? A kidnapping? You’ll have to tune in to find out.

A consortium of services offering every TV channel in the universe for only $5 a month announced today they are upping the offer even more by creating original series, greenlighting two new dramas and a comedy series.

“To stay competitive in this environment, we have to do more than offer every TV channel plus all Netflix, Amazon Prime and Disney+ programs for only $5 a month,” said Fu Ludyu, CEO of KoolTVBox. “Our subscribers are demanding even more value, and we believe these new projects will help us offer that.”

Ludyu said the new series will be exclusive to the network of small IPTV streaming services, and they will aggressively protect their copyrighted material. “While we are not responsible for the copyright status of programming from our independent offshore contractors, our team of lawyers will go after Netflix and YouTube hard if we see our content on their services,” he said.

Saying he has always been committed to public broadcasting, Quebecor CEO Pierre Karl Péladeau said Monday he is thrilled to have been appointed the new president of CBC/Radio-Canada for a five-year term.

He succeeds Catherine Tait, whose term is ending.

Péladeau said he has a big vision for the public broadcaster, including more cooperation with private broadcasters, a new more narrow focus on high-quality niche programs, and integration with Videotron’s Helix distribution system.

The Alouettes owner more specifically announced he intends to make Tou.tv a channel within Club Illico, cancel underperforming projects like Véro.tv, and create a new province-wide news and information show on ICI Première hosted by Richard Martineau.

Asked about English services, Péladeau said he didn’t have any big plans there but whatever Bell doesn’t like sounds good to him.

In its quest to offer the best radio experience, CFQR 600 AM has proposed special programming of the April 8 total solar eclipse, with a live raw audio feed so its audience can listen to it from their homes or across the country.

“This event happens only once in a lifetime, so we can’t miss it,” said whoever is in charge there these days. “We’ll have a special directional microphone pointed directly at the sun and will broadcast super HD audio of the sound as the moon crosses over the sun and blocks out its solar sounds.”

The broadcast will start around 2pm, and continue until the end of the partial eclipse around 5pm. The broadcast will run without a host, analysis or any spoken words, just the raw sounds of the eclipse.

“We’ll also be sending a copy of the recording to scientists so they can study the sounds and learn more about the sun and moon,” the station’s management said.

Fans were shocked and outraged by this incident.

Only a day after his retirement from CJAD 800, Ken Connors was arrested by authorities, charged with illegally revealing a secret cryptocurrency that has exploded in value making people insanely rich.

“The government doesn’t want you to know how to make all this money,” Connors said as he was being led away in handcuffs by police on Monday morning.

According to a CBC News article that looks fairly legit, Connors chose to retire from broadcasting because of massive wealth he accumulated investing his savings in Koin Coinnors, a trivia-based cryptocurrency that is guaranteed to be the next Bitcoin. Rather than mining currency by crunching complicated mathematical equations, Koins are distributed when Coinnors successfully answer trivia questions.

“It makes crypto fun and eco-friendly,” Connors explains in the story at cbcnewsnews.co. Understanding how it works or if it’s sustainable or secure isn’t important, nor is it important to check if the story is real. What is important to understand is this is the perfect time to take all the money out of your bank account and convert it to this cryptocurrency.