“I long for you. I radiate for you. You ping me.”

Those are some of the loin-melting sentences spoken in a new Netflix drama that follows the building textual tension between Cogeco and a wireless service it says it is oh so tantalizingly close to deciding to launch.

“Much like the Rogers story was the Canadian version of Succession, we think this new series ‘It’s Gonna Be Epico’ will be the next Bridgerton,” said Netflix head of Canadian programming Sue Kerr.

The new docudrama series, in which everyone is dressed up in 18th-century formal attire and speaks with a British accent for some reason, promises endless scenes in which Cogeco and a wireless service end up alone together and inch closer together, their hearts racing as they are swept away in their desires for each other, only to be interrupted at the moment they were totally about the seal the deal.

The first season will feature an intriguing story about the leader Philippe negotiating with the Great Powers when suddenly he’s replaced by the young Frédéric. Was there a coup? A love triangle? A kidnapping? You’ll have to tune in to find out.