New Democratic Party Leader Jagmeet Singh says he is in no way related to and has never met Khan Noonien Singh, a genetically engineered augments who attempted to dominate the planet in the 1990s, sparking the Third World War.

“I don’t know where that rumour started, but it’s total B.S.,” Singh said Tuesday while casually bench-pressing a school bus during a campaign stop in suburban Toronto. “The NDP doesn’t stand for war, and while we opposed the forced exile of these people on the Botany Bay as a cruel and unusual punishment, we find the concept of eugenics abhorrent.”

Liberal Leader Mark Carney says he has a solution to Canada’s democracy crisis: a process known as “electoral easing” that involves purchasing additional ballots from Elections Canada, pushing up their prices and lowering their yields. Doing so, he argues, will increase the supply of democracy in the electoral system and spur voters to show up to the polls and cast ballots.

“Our turnout rates continue to stagnate, and we need to stimulate the electorate,” he said at a campaign stop on Tuesday. “This is a responsible, calculated measure that will get democracy moving again while keeping vote inflation under control.”

Other parties didn’t hesitate to condemn the move as election interference, asking where the ballots would be stored and who would fill them out.

Carney promised all that information would be disclosed within 120 days.

Though he insists he is not softening his tone on defunding the CBC and its waste of a billion dollars of taxpayer money a year, Conservative Party Leader Pierre Poilievre clarified Tuesday he would protect taxpayer funding for the Great Canadian Baking Show.

“The CBC is a government-controlled radical leftist Liberal extreme woke communist propaganda outlet that needs to be eliminated once and for all, but Alan and Ann are just so adorable and I couldn’t possibly do that to them and their wonderful contestants,” Poilievre said. “A Conservative government would protect Radio-Canada and all other French-language cultural funding programs as critical to Quebec culture, and the Great Canadian Baking Show because it’s just an absolute gem.”

It’s unclear if the show would have to move to a different network, be available only online or if CBC Television stations would be kept operational solely for the purpose of broadcasting the eight hours a year produced by this show, plus the hour-long holiday special.

Bell Canada is making increasingly strong suggestions that CTV Montreal should move out of the Bell campus on Nuns’ Island, where it has been housed since a flood at its studio in August.

“We’re obviously prepared to help out in an emergency, no questions asked,” said Bell facilities director Jean-Sébastien Canoulart. “But we think it’s time for CTV Montreal to spread its wings and gain some independence again.”

CTV Montreal insists it’s not trying to just mooch off of free rent, and is contributing to the Bell campus’s upkeep, including taking out the garbage and doing the dishes. It notes that it’s doing way more than sister stations Noovo and RDS who also had to move into their parent company’s spare room.

Nevertheless, it says it totally plans to move out once it has some things taken care of, like the federal election. And maybe the municipal election this fall. And the provincial election next year.

Global News, owned by the cash-strapped Corus media company, says it is prepared to host 343 federal election debates — one for each riding — if the candidates agree to pay $75,000 each to participate.

The amount is the same TVA had requested from each of the candidates to hold a leaders debate that was ultimately cancelled after the Liberal Party pulled out.

Corus estimates each riding would have four major-party candidates on average, but opened the door to allowing independent and fringe-party candidates to participate if they are willing to pony up the cash.

Global’s chief political correspondent David Akin would personally host all 343 debates. He calculates that if they begin tomorrow, and last an hour and a half each, he would have just enough time to complete them all before voting day.

The RCMP and other international police forces say they are looking into a link between a sudden increase in incidents of plane crashes, near-misses or other aircraft incidents and a recent announcement that the air crash investigation documentary show Mayday will be renewed for another three seasons.

“We’re not accusing anyone of anything, but we have some questions about some suspicious activity,” said RCMP spokesperson Foo Ladiue.

For example, a casting call for actors to play pilots was posted in late January, saying they should have passable American accents and be willing to hang upside down during some scenes. Weeks later, when Delta Connection Flight 4819 crash landed at Toronto’s Pearson Airport, a camera crew was spotted near the end of the runway that had links to Mayday producer Cineflix.

Then, a producer based in Busan, South Korea, was arrested at the local airport with matches and accelerant, and a search of their web browsing history discovered he searched “Airbus A321 fire tail consequences” a day before an incident involving an Air Busan flight.

Neither incident resulted in any fatalities.

“It’s ridiculous to suggest that we had anything to do with that rolled-over Delta plane, that tail fire in Korea or the miraculous no-engine landing in Kelowna on April 2,” said Mayday executive producer Charles Pêché, before asking if this interview could be embargoed until April 3. “We obviously wish for the safest skies and have no desire to see any risk of life, even if telling the story about it later might make us millions of dollars.”

He said producers approach their stories with the utmost care and wait at least 30 minutes after any plane crash before approaching pilots with consent forms for on-camera interviews.

You might think his choice to resign as prime minister, give up his seat in the House of Commons and leave politics means his reign of terror is over, but it’s all a smokescreen and a secret plan to declare martial law, cancel elections and enslave Canadians is still in the works, insists a leading Conservative political analyst on TikTok.

“I called it months ago, and it’s obviously going to happen,” said Andrew Gertson, who posts under the handle @ProHealthFoodSecrets. “People think getting his puppet Mark Carney to call an election means an election is going to happen, but they’re going to manufacture a crisis and implement the emergencies act that will suspend the vote and require everyone get another vaccine injection. Why isn’t anyone talking about this?”

The latest proof of this plan is polls showing the Liberal Party gaining support among the electorate. “The pollsters were all bought off so they would show a Liberal surge, and we know it’s fake because no one I follow has said they’re voting Liberal,” Gertson explained.

Here’s how it will work: On April 28, just before the vote, and after orchestrating some urgent crisis with the Trump administration, Trudeau and Carney will walk to Rideau Hall and order the governor general to cancel the election. She will do that and reinstall Trudeau as prime minister, citing the need for stable leadership. Once that happens, preinstalled strike forces will take over control of provincial governments, critical infrastructure and media outlets across the country. Of course I’m joking about that last part because Trudeau already controls the media.

Once control has been assumed, there will be another fake pandemic, either a flare-up of COVID or some new manufactured virus, and more vaccines will be made mandatory, vaccines conveniently endorsed by Brookfield and the WEF globalists.

There is some debate whether Trudeau’s martial law will only last a year, which Gertson heard is how long he can legally assume full government control without an election, or if it will be indefinite.

It doesn’t matter, though. The United States will step in and restore freedom to Canada, by force if necessary. And once we’re the 51st state we’ll get to watch Hulu.

A man who has become the Bloc Québécois’s only candidate outside of Quebec says he will remain in the race and sees a realistic chance of turning part of the Saskatchewan capital a light blue on election night.

Brandon Souris, 28, says he filed the required legal paperwork to become a candidate, and as the only person seeking the Bloc nomination in the Regina-Qu’Appelle riding he was automatically acclaimed.

“I believe in the Bloc’s values,” Souris said in an interview conducted entirely in French. “I want massive transfers of money and power to Quebec, to protect Quebec culture and prevent it from being overrun by dirty pipelines. And of course I’m for Quebec sovereignty.”

Asked about his candidacy, the Bloc’s official agent said he hadn’t realized Regina-Qu’Appelle wasn’t in Quebec and signed the nomination form. Revoking the candidacy would require too much paperwork, he said, so the party has decided to let it go and see what happens.

Responding to recent demand from employees across the country to leave their jobs to enter politics, CBC/Radio-Canada has introduced a new sabbatical program that will allow them to take leaves of absence from their jobs to run for the Liberal Party of Canada or their provincial equivalents.

“This isn’t an endorsement of any political party, it’s simplifying a process that’s already happening so we can more efficiently process all the leave requests that come in just before an election campaign,” said CBC HR specialist Apryl Poisson. “Employees would of course be expected to completely disassociate from the CBC after publicly declaring themselves to be candidates, and if they lose their elections will be welcomed back as insider political analysts.”

Asked if the program could also be used for employees seeking to run for the Conservative Party, Poisson looked confused and stood frozen for about 10 minutes before saying that hypothetical situation had never come up.

AM talk radio broadcasters have had a “run for the Conservative Party” sabbatical program for several years now, citing people like Jamil Jivani and Greg Brady as success stories.