It’s nice to see the news media, politicians, fans, organizers and TV broadcasters are giving women’s Olympic beach volleyball the respect it deserves as a sport. And apparently deeming it insufficiently sexy, they have cheerleaders brought in during breaks.

This is what our world is coming to, folks.

Perhaps we should take it farther: Archery is among the least popular sports at the Olympics. But what if, instead of bows and arrows, we turned it into Semen Archery, in which the closest splat is the winner?

Most gymnastics competitions could be made much more interesting by pairing men and women and having them contort into various positions together. Marks would be awarded for difficulty.

Judo, wrestling and taekwondo would be a huge hit if instead of those bulky housecoats everyone just wrestled naked.

The possibilities are endless.