1. New superhospital will have fewer beds than the hospitals its replacing. Big shots say that’s fine because despite an aging population, hospitals are more efficient and fewer beds will be needed. Also, flying monkeys will sprinkle pixie dust on patients to speed their recovery.

2. Maisonneuve-Rosemont hospital has run out of beds in the ER and has 85 patients on stretchers. This news item has no relation to the previous one.