I’m not a fan of fundraising. It’s panhandling for the middle class. It’s guilt-tripping, getting people to overpay for stuff they don’t even want, or worse – “pledge” in favour of someone doing something entirely unnecessary. And they can’t complain because, well, it’s all for a good cause.

I’ve also never been a moustache man. But I thought it might be fun to try it for a month in the spirit of Movember. Dreading the thought of asking people to donate in exchange for nothing more than the honour of seeing me look like a 70s used car salesman, I decided I’d make a donation of my own at the end.

I thought I’d be a bit clever by making the donation dependent on the number of hairs my face could produce in that gap between my nose and lip. As it turns out, there’s a lot of them, and they’re very difficult to count.

My best estimate, by looking at the sink after shaving, was about 500. Multiplied by the entirely arbitrary figure of 25 cents per, that gives me $125, which I just sent to the Movember people to spend trying to cure prostate cancer. I figure that’ll be enough to put them over the top.

It certainly doesn’t hurt Canada’s position as the top Movember country.

I’m just glad to have my face back.