Hey, did you know there’s a new Harry Potter book coming out? There’s only been about 12,000 news stories in the past week about it. Why is The Man trying to suppress this earth-shattering news story?

Or more non-sarcastically, WHO THE F&#K CARES?

OK, a new book is being released. And it’s Harry Potter, which is a very popular series. And it’s the last one of the series. This deserves some news coverage. Maybe even a story on the front page of the arts section one day.

But a 14-day Harry Potter Countdown? With stupid trivia like this? On A3? Does the Vancouver Province have nothing better to do with its time than put this together? And do the other papers have no better wire stories to feature? Zimbabwe’s populace is going to starve to death (that gets a 50-word brief in the world section), but gosh darnit, we have to talk about the hype over whether a fictional character is going to die in a book.