Crazy weekend tell-all

I have another page to myself in today’s paper:

Some extra tidbits not included in those articles:

Metro Party

  • One woman in the party took the opportunity as the train first left Henri-Bourassa to flash her breasts at the metro agent standing on the opposite platform
  • The first song played out of Kevin’s iPod was a hard-to-hear pounding of bass. The party really got started on, of all songs, Aqua’s “Happy Boys and Girls” (which, I admit, is on my music player as well)
  • Kevin’s portable speakers may not have survived the night. One of them appeared to develop a bad wire.
  • The crowd discovered relatively quickly that 100 people bouncing up and down to a rhythm will cause a metro car to sway. Unfortunately they couldn’t keep it going once they realized what they were doing.
  • “That’s not good, someone lit up a joint.” — As far as I could tell, it was the only illegal consumption that occurred that night, and it only happened once.
  • For some reason, about 20 people stayed on the platform at Lionel-Groulx as the train departed. They had gotten out as the metro cops walked toward the car to see what was going on.
  • At Villa-Maria, where the platform’s exit was right next to the last car, came the most visible staring. Some pointed, others looked confused. Others said things like “what the fuck?”
  • My photographer, Tim Snow, was quite a sport. He was sweating bullets as he tried to switch back and forth between a regular and wide-angle lens to take close-quarter shots. He almost got into an altercation with a police officer when the lens got too close to the officer’s face.
  • The party was also being filmed for a new CBC series that’s replacing the cancelled Street Cents.
  • I counted about 109 people on the platform at Côte-Vertu for the return trip. I got some strange looks as I counted, and some people shouting random numbers at me to throw me off (after I had already finished)
  • As the train left for its second run, a cloud of smoke filled the air. No, it wasn’t a cigarette, it was the dust being pounded out of the ventilation system in the ceiling.
  • A woman with a bike at De La Savane métro. She wasn’t getting on. Not the party’s fault though, she should have been at the head of the train, not the end.
  • The train stopped suddenly, twice, as it left Plamondon. It was then that I realized it was game over and the train wouldn’t go past the next station. Sure enough, the signals at Côte-Sainte-Catherine prevented the train from proceeding further until the cops came to kick everyone out.
  • Strangely, the metro cops (they were the same ones we saw at Côte-Vertu minutes before) didn’t want to kick everyone out at first, but merely set ground rules for the party to continue: No weapons, knives or alcohol (there weren’t any), and spread the party over three cars instead of one (which would have been a bummer because there was only one set of speakers). The group seemed favourable to the compromise until the city cops swung by and kicked everyone out.
  • Quote a cop (who was a really patronizing to me because he didn’t believe I was a journalist): “At least it’s original”. Despite the forced eviction, the police there took the situation pretty lightly.
  • One person apparently lost his bag at some point (which I found odd because he had a backpack on him as he spoke to the police — did he have two bags?). He disappeared before I could get the full story.
  • This weekend, Newmindspace is planning an Easter Egg hunt in Toronto, but has already pissed off one lefty who thinks they should use real ones.

Faceless Invasion

  • I spent the first part of the afternoon with a team from U de M. It was actually my first time on U de M’s campus, though I’ve been near it many times. Boy is that hill steep. Getting anywhere is like running a marathon.
  • The team I was with spoke franglais so badly I honestly had no idea what their mother tongue was. Every sentence would have half the words in either language.
  • A Reuters photographer was at the pudding wrestling tournament and got some good pictures.
  • Tomatoes and eggs have funny ways of exploding when thrown at someone’s skull at close range.
  • Catching a frisbee in your mouth is very hard. You’re more likely to break a tooth first.
  • I asked the McGill team (Team Just Fuck a Nun) why they’re spending 12 hours on this instead of, say, working on school stuff. Their answer, of course, was “but this is fun”, which I’m sure will comfort them when they fail their classes.
  • “Naked Newman”, who performed tasks naked even when not required, was apparently trying to earn back his nickname. He’d had it in high school for being naked at parties, but wasn’t known for this at McGill yet.
  • The McGill team members live in adjacent dorm-room-style 1 1/2 apartments in the same building, which is how they all know each other.
  • Naked Newman and “Judy” filmed themselves stealing an orange pylon on St. Laurent. They brought it home, passing right by two police officers who didn’t flinch. They planned to use it for their homemade bong, but never did.
  • Quote: “Do you want me to produce semen right now?” — One of the members, who performed most of the sex acts with his girlfriend, was kind of drained by the end of the night. But somehow he managed to produce enough man-seed to be used in a whiskey shot, scoring a few more points.
  • Quote: “You can stick it in there, but don’t move your finger!” — His girlfriend, receiving The Shocker. We later learned it was performed incorrectly, using the ring finger instead of the pinky.
  • Nick, the organizer, emailed me about this post, and wanted to get more information so he could issue a press release about my arrest. I told him to read the entire post. Then he felt like an idiot.

5 thoughts on “Crazy weekend tell-all

  1. Kevin Bracken

    Hey, great article, thanks! I will add it to our press page :)

    On the “Over Heard”, was it Oliver who said he knew you? Haha, you always run into the most disparate friends at free events.

    I can’t believe that crazy girl who told us to use real eggs for our easter egg hunt – I wrote my reply in our blog – She didn’t even identify herself as writing for NOW, which I found, if not unethical, at least in bad faith and very much against the notion of journalistic integrity. That is the first time a private e-mail of mine has made its way into print, so I suppose there is no such thing as a private e-mail. Oh well.

    Have a good weekend!

  2. fagstein Post author

    The “I know you” comment wasn’t directed at me. I remember it was a woman (and I think directed towards a guy) but not much else.

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